Arabian nights: The intimate lives
of Pinoys in Saudi

A wonderful, intriguing and eye-opening article about life in Saudi. However, one quibble: when he described one place as “…a street in Jeddah has become the most accident-prone area in the city because it is the most popular place to pick up gay Filipinos …”, please make sure you used the right descriptions. As far as I know, there’s no such thing as an “accident-prone” area. Areas such as streets are immune to accidents. People are not.

Alan M

i was dismayed! COMPLETELY dismayed, with those kababayans in Saudi throwing decency and their Filipino identity (morallly decent/right, whatsover you’d like to call it) right into the garbage dump! just to satiate their lust that may last only for minutes . . . i am heartbroken in a way. to think that i’m contemplating of seeking employment there. NOW, i will not think of seeking a job in SA. I cannot live thinking that i’m (if ever) living on pig sty with my kids at the receiving end of all shame and degradation that may result from such foolish acts.

Interesting narration on the lives of OFWs in Saudi, but I believe the writer should have treated his story with great care and sensitivity as he touches on the moral or immoral lives of the OFWs. I want to think his anecdotes were isolated cases and not done by mainstream OFWs.

He dwells more on how the OFWs fight boredom and loneliness by getting into intimate relationships. Oh man, that brings chills to the loved ones left behind.

Did the writer think for a minute what a husband or wife back home would have felt upon reading his story? He has just served notice to all what a loved one working in Saudi must be doing to overcome his/her loneliness. That story is bound to break the marital bliss of many.

The damage has been done. The only way to undo it is for the OFWs everywhere to come forward and rebut the story so that those who will be adversely affected by it will have some peace of mind. Pity the family who stayed behind

At least the OFW’s have good reason for doing what they are doing in comparison to what’s going back in the home country where such shenanigans also going on. The only scary part is Saudi Arabia and most mid east countries are muslim countries and the consequences for getting caught in these “immoral acts” are quite steep. Though I rather see our OFW’s commit to total sacrifice, but is very hard to do when you are in such situation. Personally, nothing immoral between consenting adults.

Sad to say, that’s normal here in Saudi Arabia. Men can take a ” legitimate wife” by getting a fake marriage contract for a certain fee thru our embassy and they can get away it. No questions asked. Where and who are the people involved here is I don’t know. It really looks like a genuine contract with matching embassy seal.

men and women live by choices they make. first, a choice was made when they apply for a job in the mid-east, second, when they choice to engage in immoral and illicit affairs. at the end we could only understand them but nevertheless they should suffer the consequences once caught and punished, be it by arab law officers or a breakdown of marriage at home.

i still believe though that majority make do with ‘jergens’ and while immoral to hear or read, accepted as necessity, in secrecy, even by priests! he he.

It is easy to be judgemental when you have not experienced the loneliness and boredom in the kingdom. I live in Canada and was bored with my job so I took one in Saudi Arabia. It was an eye opener. The OFW’s have my admiration for putting up with the hard life there. I had a choice for going there, the OFW’s were there as a matter of survival. . It is easy to have affairs there as the alternative is going out of your mind. The article presented it as things are, not a garden of eden where money is picked up from the streets. Boredom was such a problem I could only make myself stay for 6 months, and I had an easier time than most.

It is not being judgemental when concerns are raised about the fate of marriages when illicit relationships are resorted to. I thought the idea of every OFW who goes to find work in a far away country is because of his deep love for his family that he is willing to sacrifice to keep his family safe and protected. Surely not to break it apart. If illicit relationship is being justified because it is the ONLY answer to loneliness and boredom regardless if it results in failed marriages, then I’m sorry I ever showed my concern at all.

I had a client once who worked as a domestic in the Kingdom.

Without violating the lawyer-client privilege between us, All I could muster is : her testimonies made and sworned before me re- affirms what Torres had written as his own personal account.

Caveat, however, the article of Torres should be labeled: ” This article may offend some sensibilities. Read at your own risk ”

I did my share as a OFW in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. I’ve worked there for almost 11years, though some OFW are more fortunate like the company I’ve worked for who can go back home every 6 months or work OT then make it as day off and go back home for another two weeks.

It is true, the number enemy there is loneliness and boredom. We ticked off every day that passed in the calendar and often times we called “ilang tulog na lang” then can go on leave again.

In that country you got to do what you want to do to keep yourself sane. Some are fortunate to have access to their personal needs though very risky but most are not so they go for gambling which is very rampant.

Thousands of marriages had been wrecked filipino marriages had gone down the drain and no one else to blame except our our government, it failed under its obligation to uplift the living condition of our society much more it encourages filipino labor exportation to the detriment of our values.

Here’s a comment to “My Arabian Nights” emailed to us by Marianne Castilla, who works as a nurse tutor in Oman:

i’ve read your article on filipino life in saudi arabia. and i cannot but help to agree to some extent. dismal it may be, and to some distasteful (even to me), there is still the bright side for filipinos working in a mideast country. right now i am working as a nurse tutor in the sultanate of oman and am aware of some of what you had experienced among filipinos here. there is, however, religious freedom here as catholic churches can be accessed in some prominent regions of the sultanate. we are able to proceed with a healthy religious life because of this by choice. i say by choice because some of us may opt to enjoy worldly pleasures.

the bright side? we have good paying jobs which, unfortunately, the philippines cannot afford to pay us. we are able to send the much needed cash to families back home so they could eat three square meals a day. but of course, we know that already. that is why we are here.

then what’s the point of this comment! the sad thing about your article is the message that some of us act like beasts out of reign. judgmental, perhaps but, as a female filipina working in a rich purely-muslim country, the generalizations built from the not-so-secret unacceptable activities of some of our countrymen puts most of us to risks of harrassment and ultimately crime victimization. we look for our own doom. and this overshadow whatever great accomplishments some of us had ever done in these countries. it puts to light our lack of self-discipline and perhaps our loose morals. should’nt we prove otherwise though?

of course, gleaning from history of OFW experiences, we cannot say that all of the horrific abuses done to some of the filipinos working here were of their own making. i do believe that bad people are splattered to all races but host countries will not believe that of themselves specially a muslim country. it will always be blamed on the victim.

as a nurse tutor here, i am teaching psychiatric nursing and am exposed to patients who find their way to the “looney bin”. I saw some filipina who had succumbed to mental illness because they were unable to cope with the rigours of OFW life. and i personally grieve for their fate. many wishful thoughts also run through my brain as i watch them suffer but of course the ifs and whens and the blames are useless when matters like this occur.

i would like to repeat that reading your article had left a distasteful feeling within me and i feel ashamed that i am a filipina. but that shame spurted me to write my opinion, (of which i normally do not do as i am more of a passive person) and i’m glad that i had. and that same shame would like to bring forth the message that we can be better than we are. let us help our countrymen restore whatever self-respect they ever had when they left the country to look for better paying jobs (or a job which they never had in our country).

OFWs had been celebrated as heroes but can we truly be called heroes when some of us behave like beasts! Is sexual gratification the only alternative to a lonely life! Don”t these illicit alliances between married filipinos destroy our culture more than anything because they have to satisfy a “need for intimacy” to however nefarious an extent as can be? Are we really helping the economy when we leave broken families in our country in exchange for an illicit relationship abroad? Should we allow ourselves to suffer our childen to become fatherless/motherless because of this? What happened to our Christian virtues, in the first place? It seems we really had thrown it to the wolves.

thank you very much for this opportunity.

Another emailed comment from Mengz Estolano in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia:

I enjoyed browsing Mr. Torres’ My Arabian Nights. Although he depicted his personal experiences loud and clear, I didn’t like the sound and added imagination he presented Saudi Arabia and the OFWs lifestyle. Believe it or not there was that sensationalism in his journalistic attempt to show to the Filipinos how bad it is to work and live in Saudi Arabia. In my own experience and opinion it’s far from reality and facts.

Let me elaborate farther. We should all accept, as Mr. Torres did, that Saudi Arabia is a 100% Islamic country. Meaning its way of life is founded, based and bounded by the Holy Quran. In that concept we should view the life, culture and thinking, way of life of the Saudis, its countrymen, government, and its guests (OFWs, pilgrims,etc.). I know for a fact that like me Mr. Torres is a Filipino, Christian and a journalist who loves to view things in his own perspective. But journalism has its objectivity. Subjective observations and interpretations of what the journalist sees and feels are personal which must be taken with a grain of salt. And not a credo! Subjectivism sometimes maligns the truth of what is real and factual. Although it adorns the presentation of what is written, it should be limited to something personal. But it seems Mr. Torres generalized his personal experiences and observations for all OFWs working and making a living in Saudi Arabia. This kind of generalization is tantamount to heresy, an unforgivable sin and deserves condemnation.

May I remind Mr. Torres that if not for the OFWs in the Middle East, the Philippine economy is doomed to wallow in mud and sinks to the deepest seas. Thanks to the sacrifices and heroism of the OFWs, our country is surviving and moving inspite of the difficulties and problems she is facing here and now. Mr. Torres scrapped and threw this issue/part of the OFWs to his forgotten memories.

I agree with some of the comments here that what Mr. Torres had written is an unfortunate generalization of the lives of OFW’s in Saudi Arabia. While I’m sure that he had the best intentions in writing this article, I agree with Toro that Mr. Torres should have taken greater care and showed more sensitivity especially to husbands and wives of OFW’s who were left behind in the Philippines. Surely, his article will add to the “apprehensions” being felt by the partner who is left behind in our country. Working in KSA is a sacrifice being endured by the whole family, not only by the OFW or the family that is left behind. Mr. Torres’ article rubs salt on the wounds of the OFW and his/her family.

What a read! This’ not the first time I heard this OFW’s situation in the Middle East, but it rips my heart wide apart.. every single time. When morality and economy clashes in, it never turns out to be an easy one. Who knows what happens next. God forbid!

At least it’s being openly discussed now.

Truth hurts but thats life, whether you can accept it or not life goes on. Filipinos in the kingdom knows why filipinas had a bad reputation there. Ask any filipino who had been in the kingdom how pinays are perceived by saudi men. Of course there is always exception but the perception is already there.

Heres the most gruesome, back in the 80’s a pinoy electrician was beheaded infront of his father. He’s having an illicit relationship with a Col. wife inside one of the base. Apparently the Col. smells something going on with his wife. one day, he went back home quietly when the pinoy is already there with the intention of catching them in the act, god knows what happened next but the pinoy is a martial arts expert he accidentally killed the Col.

The Col. always arrived at his office ahead of time and when he didn’t showed up on time, an aide was dispatched to investigate. Unfortunately the pinoy was still inside and he was caught and eventually beheaded. Both father and son worked inside the base.

Many stories about pinoys/pinays abound, theres this good looking pinay who worked in one of the many private hospital there. Theres one pinoy who had his room for a short time like a motel but secretly video taped all lovers going there then the existence of this tapes being sold leaks out.

The bed scene of this good looking pinay won the famas award that many fellow pinays watched it. Before long, hospital authorities got suspicious why so many filipinos going to that hospital trying to have a glimspe at her. Later on news leaked out that she was eventually picked up by the police and never heard what happened to her.

Pinoy gays love it there, to sum it up heres one gay told us; ” saan ka daw makakita na madaling araw pa lang may bumabato sa kuwarto niya, ibig sabihin may customer na siya at sigurado na ang pera samantalang sa pinas ginugulpi siya ng kanyang bf pag wala siyang naibigay na pera”.

There are hundreds of thousands of OFW in the kindom and there will always be a few bad apples.

Whew! greatnight66, what a revelation. I take your knowledge as if you are a OFW -or at least has been a OFW. Let me ask you a dumb question, if I may. Why can’t OFW’s bring their spouses with them in order to avoid all these?

I am not an OFW (I’m actually a Fil-Am) but after hearing all these stories, I sypathize with OFWs. All because of the corrupt politicians back in PI.