MAGCALAS AND her parents meet twice a year. It was during one of those reunions that they decided to buy cellular phones. "It was the 'in thing' and we tried it," she says. It has since saved them a bundle, since they no longer make the weekly phone calls using landlines. Mostly, though, they use their cellphones to text each other.

	VIRTUAL RELATIONSHIPS. Technology, like webcams, helps brings together families torn apart by overseas migration.

With text messaging, the exchange of email is no longer as frequent. But Magcalas and her parents haven't given up on the Net just yet, although now they use it most to chat with or without a webcam. Magcalas says her family has had "real fun" chatting. She also chats with friends and other relatives, especially after she arrived in the Philippines for her medical studies.

Magcalas says that while she has always been close to her family, "the technology enhanced my relationship with my parents." She also found relatives in the Internet, which she uses as well to discuss lessons with her classmates.

For thousands of other families, however, the Net has become their virtual lifeline to each other, especially for those who want to see their families but cannot afford the sophisticated cell phones that would allow them to do that. In fact, a group of overseas Filipino workers and their families has taken the initiative of making cutting-edge technology affordable to members who don't have much money to spend for communication.

Balikabayani, an organization of OFWs in Hong Kong and Rome and migrant returnees with roots in San Pablo, Laguna; Mabini, Batangas; and Pozorrubio, Pangasinan, has set up Balikabayani Centers, which offer fast and efficient forms of communication, such as email, chat, and Net meeting or videoconference to OFW families.

Established in 1999, Balikabayani (which translates roughly into "returning hero") put up the centers in Hong Kong and Rome, where most Balikabayani members are. All the Balikabayani or BK Centers are linked via the Internet and are run and funded by the beneficiaries who pay monthly membership fees. The idea came from the OFWs themselves. Balikabayani staff members teach family members how to email, chat, and make and send personalized cards through the Internet.

The net meeting/videoconference service has become the favorite of family members because it allows them to see and talk to their relatives in other BK centers. The service is available on Sundays, the workers' day off.

"USUALLY, IT'S very, very emotional," says Balikabayani executive director Mai Dizon. Husbands would often become embarrassed and reduce their voice to a whisper when prodded by their wives to say "I love you." But they say the words nonetheless.

Long-distance communication, however, is not enough and can be deceiving, says a Roman Catholic Church leader who offers guidance and support to children of OFWs. Teodora Inabayan, lay coordinator of the Lipa Archdiocesan Commission on Migration and Mission, says when children of OFWs go to Internet cafes to communicate with their parents and they see photos of their parents, they perceive their mothers and fathers as "having a good time" abroad.

The photos do not convey "what the parents feel or what their difficulties are," Inabayan says. Consequently, she says, family members who are left behind "do not value the hard-earned money that they receive or the hardship of their relatives abroad." At the same time, Inabayan continues, many parents working overseas do not understand that it is not just the money that they send that is important, but also that "they are needed here."

Although she is grown up now and quite used to being on her own, Magcalas would probably want to see her parents in person more often. She says that even when it involves non relatives, she still prefers talking with people face to face. Anyway, she says, "I'm the kind of person who's not shy." She also thinks that relationships are better developed without "hiding behind technology and gadgets."

But she knows all too well that she and her parents — as well as she and her boyfriend — will have to keep on relying on technology to stay connected. Melencio, for his part, says he can't complain because he sees his family is in good health and enjoying the "fruits of my labor." That, he says, takes away the loneliness that has become part of working away from the family. And he no longer has to turn into a crisp just to keep in touch.