by Rachelle Grace San Pedro
19 years old
College student, Ateneo de Manila University

THE MOMENT my form was put inside the "Registered Voters" box, I felt ecstatic. Come election day, I would be heard. Me, a simple teenager just trying to get through school, a girl who can't even decide on what to wear for the day, could actually make a difference.

When I was a younger, I looked with envy at the adults and their purple-marked fingers. My dad let me tag along with him to the voting precinct and although it was always hot and crowded, I didn't mind. I always peeked to see whom my dad voted for and I'd ask him a lot of questions. Afterward, we would go to the family home and the entire San Pedro clan would follow the poll newscasts and vote counting. I'd ask my aunts and uncles whom they voted for and make my own tally. Guessing who would win was such an interesting game for me. I listened to the adults as they debated the merits and demerits of certain candidates. Elections excited me. Although I didn't understand much, I felt involved and smart just the same.

Now I am actually going to be a part of the big event. Enduring the agony of registering was no mean feat. The lines were annoyingly long and a lot of people cut in. The Comelec representatives and volunteers weren't much help, and a process that was supposed to take just five minutes took me half a day to complete. I'm not surprised that a lot of my friends didn't even bother to register. I personally believe in exercising the right of suffrage but now I understand why registering and voting fails to appeal to teenagers. If the choice is between spending a day at an air-conditioned mall or at crowded city hall, which do you think teenagers would pick?

But since I've gone through the chaos they call registration, I want to make sure that my vote would be an intelligent one. Early on, I'd set out to determine the candidates I would support. I helped organize a political awareness project at school, caught television shows that featured the candidates and their representatives, read about the campaigns and the muckraking in the newspapers, etc. Honestly, I think the campaign efforts are a bit too much-especially the commercials with the songs that appeal to the masses and the celebrity endorsements. And then there's all the mudslinging. People are not dumb. We know the reason why so many issues about current "presidentiables" are being given concern now is because of the plotting of their rivals. And surveys? They are being released to "condition" the minds of the masses.

Now I realize that voting — more so voting intelligently — isn't all that easy. The more I get to know about the candidates, the harder it has become deciding whom to vote for. I admit to excluding particular politicians from my shortlist but I have since reconsidered. Initially, I also was leaning toward a certain presidential candidate, but after a more objective and less fanatic assessment, I saw some loopholes in the platform and even the character of my former idol.

I'm really starting to see how there is so much politics, so much porma. Candidates will do everything to win. Of course they are running to win, but I think they should also show who they really are to the people in the process. There is so much hype. They are all building images. People want a real president. Choosing who would lead our country is much more complicated than taking a pick among suitors. It's not just a personal choice. It involves the rest of the Philippine population.

The country is facing a myriad of problems, all of which need attention. But I personally believe we can't solve the other problems if we don't start from the roots. Structural reformation/structural adjustment is my main concern. The bureaucracy should be made more efficient (fight corruption/cut red tape). Policies for the preservation of law and order should be enforced. Citizens' welfare should be promoted, primarily through education.

Considering the country's situation, we can't have just a popular president. We need someone who could really effect changed, and for me a leader could only do that if he or she has the intellect-experience-character combo.

Right now, my dilemma is that the person I'd like to vote for is different from the one I deem to be the most qualified. There is also the issue of winnability. Should I make a statement and vote for a candidate even if he or she is unpopular or should I cast a "productive" vote and choose the winnable lesser evil? The categories by which to judge the candidates are also problematic. Voters have to compromise; it seems intelligence, experience, heart, and character cannot be found in just one candidate. All the issues, the platforms, the words said, and the things done are all so confusing. Those who claimed voting is a big responsibility were not joking.

On May 10, I am going to cast my very first ballot. I'm still not sure whom I would vote for but I am sure of some things: I will still peek at my dad's ballot. I will tally my aunts' and uncles' votes. The entire family will watch the election special. But this time, I will understand what the election really means. I now recognize that polls are not the glamorous festivities I had thought them to be when I was a child. And so, I will be looking at the national elections from a different, more real, and more meaningful perspective-one of a responsible first-time voter.